I sit her staring at my computer screen, This sickness lurks inside my brain, My face right now is turning green. Outside the window, down falls the rain. One raindrop is like a thousand tears. Can’t this be my only out? I’ve thought this way for many years. I just hate how I always pout. My head always hurts, My pain is so real. My wrist always burns, I can’t contain how I feel. I try to overdose on pills. I feel like I need some help. Every emotion I feel is ill. My teachers comment on my health. I cheat and I lie. I smoke cigarretes and pot. I do it in secret, my arms by my sides. I only have one life. Have I made it or not? My sickness is mental and physical too. How can I not feel so gross? I always just feel so blue. I feel invisible, like a ghost. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~That’s a poem that I have been working on for a long time. It’s about three days old…and I had to rewrite it like 200 times and edit it every day… could never find the right ending…or the right words. I am pretty confident in how it is now. If you’re gonna judge….pleae don’t tell me what you think.
My name is Molly. I lost my world when I decided that I wanted to be beautiful. I wanted to like everyone else in the world. They are all the same. Celebrities. People on TV, people on the news, even people I surround myself with every day. My classmates, my friends, my family. Everyone I kno war elike supermodels. They are all beautiful and talented and confident. SOmetimes I wonder, why can’t I do that? I can’t be like that because I am a little too…..shy and superstitious.
Original art work
Sin-Eater pen and ink 2012
I look at the clock as I click the send button on an email to my boyfriend and see that it’s 12:10am. I didn’t wanna stay up all night but I couldn’t fall asleep. So lying in this bed with my sister’s iPod touch…I surf the internet with my Facebook/tumblr/twitter/gmail accounts opened upm there is no way I can fall asleep now, I’m too content.
Some say that Edgar Allen Poe is a dark soul. Some people say that he is too dark to learn about in school. I think he is just like me. I’m no poet, but I have been practicing. In English class, I always focus more on the poetry and short stories that we get assigned to analyze/write, and I currently have a B in English. I am dealing with a lot of stress right now and I think that it’s fine about how everyone thinks it is so great that one person in the class gets special attention and special treatment, and how one other person gets special treatment from his daddy Mr. Cox, and how kids with anger issues get special treatment. It’s insane how kids throw fits, destroy rooms, almost hurt people and stuff and it’s fine. They apoligize and they think it’s fine. ITS NOT!
I have been thinking about this lately. Being in grade 10, I had to take the HSPE and ASBAV tests, which are both basically about careers. I have been thinking about criminal justice.